The Biggest Flex By Men Is Not What You Think

“Flexing” is simply a slang word that intends showing disconnected aliases boasting astir one's accomplishments, possessions, aliases skills, often pinch nan volition of impressing others. For example, personification mightiness “flex” connected societal media by posting pictures of luxury items aliases sharing stories astir their achievements.

Personally, I'm not into flexing—what’s nan point? It often invites disdain from others. Instead, I for illustration practicing stealth wealth and playing dumb, which helps minimize unwanted attraction some online and offline. After a definite point, it’s amended to blend into nan crowd than guidelines out.

But arsenic a man, I understand nan desire to boast astir our accomplishments because it's a competitory world. I've sewage to stock immoderate credentials connected Financial Samurai, otherwise, who's going to fuss taking maine seriously?

If cipher knows who you are aliases what you've achieved, life for you and your children whitethorn beryllium overmuch much difficult. In galore ways, achieving a certain level of status is basal for survival.

The Biggest Flex By Men Is Not What You Think

Some of you mightiness deliberation nan pursuing are nan biggest flexes by men:

• Driving a uncommon and costly car you tin really get successful and retired of without your knees giving out.
• Living successful a mansion successful an exclusive vicinity surrounded by group who look and deliberation for illustration you.
• Showing disconnected six-pack abs for illustration Luigi Mangione successful your floor plan picture.
• Having an highly charismatic spouse who makes you consciousness some proud and somewhat insecure.
• Flying first people aliases backstage while lecturing others astir their c footprint.
• Working from location successful your pajamas and taking meetings from nan pickleball court.
• Running a sub-6-minute mile without needing a defibrillator afterward.
• Winning an grant for being awesome, handed retired by nan aforesaid circle of group who ever springiness each different awards.
• Speaking connected nationalist TV truthful often you can’t moreover eat a repast successful nationalist successful peace.
• Becoming a nationalist bestselling author, proudly wearing nan title while earning little than minimum wage.
• Having a afloat caput of hairsbreadth pinch nary grey strands astatine 50, defying genetics and nan transition of time.
• Earning a PhD from an Ivy League schoolhouse conscionable to make judge everyone calls you “Doctor.”

These things are bully to have, particularly nan six-pack abs erstwhile you're middle-aged. However, contrary to what I’m seeing connected societal media, these aren’t nan biggest flexes.

Being FIRE (financially independent, retired early) became a flex—it’s difficult to hit nan entreaty of nary meetings and nary boss. Time is much valuable than money, right?

However, nan biggest and latest flex I’ve noticed is letting your woman not person to work. To afloat supply for your female now seems for illustration man’s top achievement. After all, if you genuinely emotion your wife, you would springiness her nan gift of freedom.

Check retired 1 illustration from TikTok.

It’s funny because, since 2010, I’ve been reasoning nan opposite: having a woman who afloat provides for nan man, while nan man gets to twiddle his thumbs astatine location is nan top flex!

See past posts connected this subject:

How To Convince Your Spouse To Work Longer So You Can Retire Earlier

My Secret To Retiring Early With $4 Million And Two Kids In An Expensive City

The Secret To Early Retirement Is So Simple And Logical (2010 publication!)

Why nan Biggest Flex Is Having a Working Wife Take Care of You

Reflecting connected my past posts, it’s clear that I’ve often considered flipping accepted gender roles and imagining a world wherever much women are nan superior breadwinners. This thought initially took guidelines astir 2010 erstwhile I was burned retired from activity and eager to discontinue early. I yearned for alleviation from nan relentless unit of earning money.

However, nan strongest catalyst for envisioning women arsenic providers has been nan profound power of nan successful women successful my life.

Surrounded by Powerful Women

Throughout my profession and individual life, I’ve witnessed nan spot and achievements of bonzer women.

At Credit Suisse, my contiguous Managing Director was Kathryn. She was thing short of inspiring—promoted to MD successful her mid-30s while raising 3 children. Kathryn’s expertise to equilibrium demanding clients and a thriving location life, each while remaining approachable, near a lasting impression. We still speech vacation cards to this day.

Before Credit Suisse, I worked alongside Michele, a Managing Director connected nan Latin America desk. She erstwhile reviewed and approved my petition to waste and acquisition options. Michele later thrived astatine Goldman Sachs for 32 years, becoming a Partner. To moreover get a occupation astatine Goldman, I had to walk nan gatekeeper, Kim Purkiss, their lead recruiter who decided if I’d make it to Super Day interviews.

Even earlier Wall Street, my aunt was a domiciled exemplary of relentless achievement. With a BA from Brown University and a PhD successful marine seismology from MIT, she now heads a technological investigation department. Despite being successful her precocious 60s, she still travels nan world, advancing her section and supporting her family.

And, of course, there’s my mother. She worked tirelessly successful nan U.S. State Department until she retired astatine 60, mounting an illustration of dedication and resilience.

A Natural Conclusion

These women didn't request men to supply for them. They could easy guidelines connected their ain and supply for their men!

Surrounded by specified driven and accomplished women, it felt earthy to deliberation that nan eventual flex is not driving a flashy car but being supported by a hardworking wife. After all, if these singular women could excel truthful brilliantly successful their careers, why not reimagine what business and support could look like?

Being cared for by a successful female while focusing connected different pursuits—whether parenting, writing, sports hobbies, aliases simply enjoying life—feels for illustration a powerful paradigm shift. It’s not astir shirking work but alternatively embracing nan possibilities of non-traditional roles successful a modern partnership.

Why Flipping Traditional Gender Roles Is nan Bigger Flex

The thought of a hubby not letting his woman activity isn’t precisely groundbreaking—it’s been nan accepted gender move successful families for generations.

Historically, erstwhile couples person children and 1 genitor stays home, it’s acold much communal for nan hubby to clasp a paying occupation while nan woman takes connected nan unpaid domiciled of managing nan household. This isn’t a arguable statement; it’s simply nan measurement things person been for decades.

If you be a schoolhouse arena and chat pinch different parents, you’ll announcement that families pinch a moving hubby and a stay-at-home mom are overmuch much prevalent than nan reverse. Because this setup remains truthful common, it doesn’t really guidelines retired arsenic a “flex.”

What’s genuinely impressive—and a overmuch bigger flex—is breaking distant from these accepted norms. Having nan woman arsenic nan sole breadwinner while nan hubby takes connected nan superior caregiving and family duties is simply a bold shift. It challenges accepted expectations and signals a rethinking of accepted roles.

Interestingly, while there’s been a gradual summation successful stay-at-home dads successful caller years, nan percent of mothers who enactment astatine location remains astir nan aforesaid arsenic it was successful 1989. Due to these diverging trends, dads now correspond 18% of stay-at-home parents, up from 11% successful 1989. This shows that societal norms astir parenting roles are slow evolving.

More Men successful nan FIRE Movement Have Working Wives

Since helping to kickstart nan modern-day FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) activity successful 2009, I’ve noticed a increasing trend: galore men who declare to person achieved FIRE person moving wives. While immoderate admit their wives’ contributions, their roles often spell unmentioned during podcast interviews aliases media features.

Why nan omission?

If I had a moving woman who earned an income and provided subsidized healthcare while I managed nan household, I’d observe her! And if she were besides a mother juggling profession and parenthood, she’d merit endless praise. Balancing a profession pinch nan demands of parenthood—especially during a child’s early years—is incredibly tough. Parental guilt often weighs heavily.

If you’re a stay-at-home hubby aliases father, clasp it. You’ve won nan lottery if your woman supports you financially. Don’t downplay her contributions—shine a spotlight connected them! Acknowledge her efforts and achievements pinch pride.

Stay-at-Home Men Must Unite

Stay-at-home men, it’s clip to situation nan stigma. There’s nary request to downplay your domiciled by claiming you’re “retired” erstwhile your wife’s paycheck is your passive income source. Own your position pinch pride. Be assured erstwhile you show group you’re a stay-at-home dada aliases husband.

By normalizing and embracing nan role, you tin animate much men to prosecute their desire to beryllium family caretakers without emotion societal pressure. If women want to attraction connected their careers and financial independence, we should observe and support them.

In addition, it makes consciousness for women who aspire to semipermanent careers to support much men staying astatine home. Behind each moving spouse is often an under-celebrated but captious partner managing nan myriad tasks that travel pinch raising a family.

Support Women’s Financial Independence

Women are outpacing men successful assemblage enrollment and advancing successful activity roles crossed industries, government, and society. For a higher Return On Effort, it makes consciousness for much women to activity longer and gain much money than men.

Importantly, much women than ever are financially independent—a inclination we should encourage. After all, arsenic nan saying goes: “A man is not a financial plan.”

As a begetter to a daughter, I dream she chases her master dreams pinch vigor while besides uncovering a loving partner. If that partner happens to beryllium a responsible man who chooses to enactment astatine location and raise their children, fantastic.

However, nan domiciled of a stay-at-home dada comes pinch responsibilities. If a man fails to propulsion his weight astir nan location aliases beryllium an engaged father, nan statement won’t fly. In specified cases, I’d person a candid speech pinch him—man-to-man—and punctual him to grant his Provider’s Clock.

Men At Home Need To Be Careful Not to Take Things Too Far

We request to reframe really nine views stay-at-home men. Unfortunately, unflattering examples perpetuate stereotypes, hindering broader acceptance of this role.

If your woman loses respect for you, your matrimony whitethorn statesman to unravel. Not earning money for nan family is fine, but a man must stay useful and find meaning successful his role.

The “Loser” Husband Stereotype

Take nan illustration of a 41-year-old man worthy $2 cardinal successful liquid assets, generating $125,000 successful passive income annually. Despite this financial contribution, his woman called him a “loser” aft he retired. This is nan benignant of communicative that damages nan cognition of stay-at-home husbands aliases boyfriends.

If he’s spending his days getting stoned and playing video games online pinch friends, it’s nary wonderment his woman feels frustrated. Yet, see his backstory: he spent 18–23 years moving aft precocious schoolhouse aliases assemblage to amass his/their wealth. He has each correct to footwear backmost and relax for a twelvemonth aliases 2 aft retiring early.

Still, staying idle indefinitely isn’t nan answer. Instead, he could attraction connected meaningful pursuits, whether managing nan household, volunteering, aliases moving connected a different hobby too video games. Heck, he could moreover flex to his friends really his woman supports him—though nan reality is that his financial contributions play a important domiciled successful their family stability.

By reframing nan communicative astir stay-at-home men and rejecting nan “loser” stereotype, we tin create much acceptance and respect for men who take this path. But men must besides measurement up to show nan worth they bring to their families and relationships.

Let’s Normalize Stay-At-Home Men

Society often expects men to beryllium breadwinners, excel professionally, lend to chores, and sacrifice clip pinch their children. These pressures lead to accent and burnout, leaving small room for fulfillment.

Many men would gladly clasp nan domiciled of stay-at-home dads, allowing their partners to attraction connected careers. Normalizing this prime dismantles outdated gender roles and creates healthier, much balanced households.

Stay-at-home men play a captious domiciled successful nurturing their families, managing households, and contributing meaningfully. Their efforts are arsenic valuable arsenic earning a paycheck and alteration women to thrive professionally pinch support astatine home.

Let’s build a world wherever roles are based connected individual strengths and preferences, free from societal judgment. Happier families and existent gender equity commencement pinch embracing these shifts.

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Related post: How To Get Your Parents To Pay For Everything As An Adult Child

Readers, what do you deliberation is nan bigger flex for men: supporting their wives truthful they don’t person to work, aliases not having to activity because their wives are nan superior providers? If you judge there’s a stigma against stay-at-home men, really tin we activity together to destruct it? Can you respect a stay-at-home man who isn't productive and chiefly conscionable consumes?

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